They quit because they fear you
Photo by Crypto Crow from Pexels
There was a Grade 7 and 8 teacher everyone below his grade feared in my elementary-middle school named Mr. Riley. He was a large, stalky man who was often observed huffing and puffing through the halls and playground of St. Monica's. I imagined those red-cheeked huffs and puffs were rage-filled since I had no earlier experiences with the man - until I did.
The fearful younger students saw Mr. Riley reprimand naughty kids which certainly left a lasting impression. Unfortunately, I became that naughty student as I discovered my reprimandable sense of humor.
On one such occasion, I was given a Riley-led detention in sixth grade that I was especially scared of. And so I did the unthinkable and skipped his detention and went home instead. I had been home for around thirty minutes and in the middle of watching a Three's Company episode on TV when the doorbell rang upstairs.
I heard my mother answer the door and gasp inquisitively at our unexpected guest. "Mr. Riley!" She exclaimed, "What brings you here?"
Mr. Riley smiled and in a jovial tone explained that David accidentally forgot to attend detention, so he popped over to pick him up to return to school.
My mum, knowingly nodded in agreement and collected my winter jacket, hat and gloves, and shoved me back out the door and into Mr. Riley's 1978 Chevy Nova. It was the longest five-minute ride of my life.
When I graduated into Grade 7, I was now a student in Mr. Riley's class. He would be my homeroom teacher for the remainder of my tenure at St. Monica's until I would depart for high school.
Here's the thing in retrospect, Mr. Riley was the best teacher I had back then. He was the best because he was actually a very outgoing, friendly, and compassionate teacher. His Irish Canadian rosey-faced appearance, hallway demeanor, and lore left students who did not have him yet petrified. But once we did, we discovered to our joy a man who loved his job and his students.
So why do I share this story with you today?
Avoid the wrecks caused by fear
A study found that 57 percent of people have left a job because of their manager. The study also found that 14 percent of people have had to leave multiple jobs because of management.
You don't want your team members to quit their jobs or to fear working for you. You can't afford to wait until your staff gradually learns you're a good person. I have no doubt that you are a good person, why else would you be reading the Bring the Nice Blog?
Your underdeveloped or misunderstood leadership skills can make your team members fear you. And fear is no way to lead people.
Read this excerpt from Workstarsโ article, Why employees quit: 11 evidence-based reasons.
A poll of over one million workers in the US by Gallup found that leaving a bad manager was the number one reason why workers quit, with 75% of those who left voluntarily doing so because of their boss and not the job itself.
The relationship with a direct line manager is critical to several employee success factors including productivity, morale and engagement. But a breakdown of that relationship, for whatever reason, can lead to mistrust, anxiety and job dissatisfaction. A more recent study released this year by CareerAddict of 1,000 workers, found that 79% would consider bad leadership as a factor in deciding to quit. Four in ten went so far as to say they would return to their old job if their former boss was replaced.
Five ways to reduce the fear.
The following are five ways to relax your team and become more approachable to reduce the fear. Your team may fear you and that misunderstanding leads to a lack of creativity and innovation and an unhappy workforce. Unhappy people quit their jobs.
If you watched the ROI of Nice webcast, you will be familiar with some of the following ideas. If you have not watched it yet, I encourage you to fill up your coffee and hit play to learn more.
1. AMA Coffees - Block a reoccurring chunk of time on your schedule each week to invite your team members for an Ask Me Anything Coffee. This should be a short, casual conversation when anyone can schedule a virtual or in-person coffee to ask you a question. Remember to make this open and encouraging - there are no stupid questions.
2. Walking meetings - Getting out of the office or meeting up in-person can be a great way to remove the stress of staring at screens or office distractions. Schedule time to host a walking meeting with a few colleagues to share an idea. I recommend a nature trail near you.
3. Body language - Consider focusing on your resting face when youโre alone. Do you look grumpy or angry when walking through your office or on your computer. Obviously, this doesnโt mean you are always smiling (that would be weird), but be mindful of how you come across to others. Remember there are no absolutes in body language.
4. Email tone - Sarcasm and bluntness can often be misunderstood in electronic communication like emails, instant messenger, and Slack channels. Always re-read your messages before you hit send and ask yourself if what you have written could be mistaken. Try reading the message in an angry tone in your head. Does it sound angry to you? Could it be misunderstood?
5. Recognition - There is a global recognition deficit in the workplace. Leaders often fail to give their team members the recognition they deserve. According to research by OC Tanner, 79 percent of employees who quit their jobs claim that a lack of appreciation was a major reason for leaving and 65 percent of Americans claimed they werenโt even recognized once last year. A simple email or quick conversation can be a great way to tell individuals on your team how much you appreciate their work. Watch the ROI of Nice for more ideas.
People donโt quit their jobs, they quit their bosses
Donโt let your team fear you. Become friendly and approachable and you will earn their trust and respect. I didnโt appreciate or even like Mr. Riley for years before getting to know him. How well do your team members know you?
As the saying goes, people donโt quit their jobs, they quit their bosses.